I knew today would be a weird day. I woke up at 6, when I didn’t have to be up for another hour. I didn’t go back to sleep though. I worked out. And cleaned a little. At 6am. WTF? It was drizzling the whole way to work. When I pulled into the parking lot, the skies opened up and it started POURING. Keeps the customers away though, no?
Wrong. 8:01 – 8:13 was spent on the phone with an insurance company. Not because of a customer though. To her credit, she presented her new card to me BEFORE I had to tell her “your old insurance is no longer active. Do you have a new plan?” and that whole mess. So I put everything in. A number with a prefix of letters. These are always bad news. Which letters, if any, do I use? A completely random one? I better not try, I’ll just call to find out for sure. Well it turns out that the state this particular plan was from uses all the letters on the GROUP code, but none of the letters on the ID. Well that makes sense. Why didn’t I think of that?
12 minutes out of a 5 hour shift. 4% of my work day was just wasted. Thanks, Blue Cross of Illinois. There was, believe it or not, not too much to complain about during the other 96%. Thankfully. I was worried. Well, I left work and got my paycheck. Yeah, I need to get another (second? Or replacement?) job. I can literally flip burgers and make more money. Well…ironic maybe. I’ll serve them burgers and fries by day, and the medicine to help their arteries manage to stay only partially clogged by night. Maybe I should move to Statin Island (get it? Statin? Ha.) OK, enough out of my work talk. It was a short day so I won’t go on too much. So I get home from work and do some trying to figure out what to do with my life. I’m in a horrible spot. After an afternoon of not getting too far, I came home and decided to take a break from it. I was getting to upset and not being able to think straight. Took a nap. Woke up. Still was thinking. Getting nowhere…So I did a little praying tonight. I’m not normally one to pray at night, but I really felt I had to. I am in such a low point in my life I just wanted God to know. He does. Of course he does, but for whatever reason I felt I had to make an extra effort. I asked for advice. Anything. Any sort of sign. So the next song that came on my playlist was “sing hallelujah!”…that was odd. So I did, then said I needed something. I asked what to do. The first line of the next song was “you’re looking at the real deal now // what ya gonna do about?!”…a little strange, considering what I just asked. I told Him that’s what I wanted to know. I had no idea. I still don’t. The next song started with a long musical intro so I figured it was just a fluke. Then the words started… “I’m not one to give advice……..na na na na na na, I’m on to you”…wow. Three in a row. Out of several thousand. That related to exactly what was going on in my head and answered what I asked. “You’ve got my attention, but not my sympathy” … I never asked for sympathy, I asked for what to do. Or just something that said everything would be ok. Next? My WWF volume 4… “Test, Test, this is a Test.” What is going on. Divine intervention via Windows Media? Microsoft, I knew your programs were pretty amazing but this is ridiculous. “He’s walking like a strong child. But watch his eyes. Black holes in his golden stare. God knows he wants to go home…” that was the next song? Not exactly the advice I was looking for. Unless He means become more active and go to church more? The next song was words I couldn’t understand. How appropriate. I don’t understand what I’m to do. “Calling all Americans of above-average intelligence. College graduates apply today.” A new job? I’m not joining the CIA though. Sweet Emotion … Gotcha! These are NOT sweet emotions that I’m feeling. Shit. “talking about the things that nobody cares……….said my get up and go must’ve got up and went”…yep. No motivation. Then “Blame Me” by Dropping Daylight. I get it, it’s my own fault. “But you can do the best to save me”…wow. I’m baffled. Here comes System of a Down. Chic’n’Stu. Well…it talks about therapy. Is that it? Then KISS: Raise Your Glasses. A toast to finally figuring out the answer?
Then it went on to some classical concerto. Is my conversation over? Was it anything more than coincidence? Am I being fooled by randomness?
Just as I say that…I’m listening to Alice Cooper… “I may be lonely, but I’m never alone.” OK. Literally, AS I was typing that sentence. Too weird. All the above may have been babble to all of you reading this, but it really did have quite an impact on me. I hope it lasts overnight and into my future. I have faith that it will.
I lost my train of thought. I was going to say something deep but was interrupted by something deeper. That’s not a bad thing, right?
Ahhh, now the Beach Boys come on. Such peaceful music. So relaxing. I wonder if I can buy a cheap/free Theremin? Wow. I thought it was just peaceful music. “Don’t worry baby, everything will turn out alright.” I’m convinced, enough of this music-talk! Please. I’m going to sleep.
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